how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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