You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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