I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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