I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
