we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
