That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
