Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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