i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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