as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize