the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So much rum. So many feels.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
