so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
