she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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