But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
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Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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