the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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