So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
