I wish i was in the wii world.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
