I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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