I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
