turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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