My first STD was from a foam party
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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