I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize