I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
