Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
