I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
