if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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