In the future we'll all be gay
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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