I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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