just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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