You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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