Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
