Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
