I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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