ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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