Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
