dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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