Im at strip club and am horny
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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