Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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