I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
