Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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