how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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