I need help removing her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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