is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
whose parrot is this?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
