i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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