I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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