oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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