K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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