Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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