Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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