ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
