i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
