Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
