covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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