dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
