he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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