white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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