I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
