i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize