He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
