I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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