no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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