Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
