You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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