quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize